Have you ever been met with the challenge of someone you love or are close too, that isn’t equipped to deal with mental illness?

Sometimes we automatically assume that certain people will be there for us no matter what. But what if they are not equipped to be?

Let’s say your closest friend becomes distanced upon finding out you are bipolar. It isn’t because she thinks less of you but better yet, she is afraid of saying the wrong things. Is it possible for some people to not be able to wrap their head around mental illness? Not in the form of opinion but in general.

Lack of education tends to shy people away from subjects that may make them look uneducated. It isn’t up to us, the amount of something someone can take, but shouldn’t they at least educate themselves? For their loved ones? I find that most people will go the extra mile for those they adore but can we judge those who can’t? Does that reflect their love for us?

People may seem to chose when they can be supportive based off of their capabilities. But what if what they are capable of doesn’t satisfy our need? Do you throw away years of friendship? Harbor a resentment or simply understand that they just cannot be supportive of a particular matter.

For instance, if someone were to fall and begin bleeding, i could find someone qualified to help but I wouldn’t be the one to administer help. I have a fluid phobia that prohibits me from coming in contact with bodily fluids. This doesn’t mean that i do not care for my friend yet i simply can not be of assistance. I freeze in fear at the sight of fluids excreting the body. I have the same lack of reaction with everyone, including my daughter. It pains me but it is my reality.

We have comfort zones and or fears that limit our abilities. To an outsider it may appear selfish but it is the needs of self that come first. At times our limitations will be met with resistance and it is important to respect the boundaries of others without triggering a negative response.

Have you experienced someone unqualified to cope with your mental status?


13 thoughts on “Limitations

  1. Yes, actually. And it was me. After my wife’s mom died unexpectedly, she went into a deep depression. I didn’t know how to help. I tried to “fix” things as best as I could, but that’s not what she needed from me. It nearly broke us, but it was a big-time learning experience for us.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is hard to understand and even harder to explain. It is nice that you hold yourself accountable and lovely y’all made it past the ugliness that is depression.

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  2. I think the situation I found the most difficult was a close friend who was a fellow nurse and also had mental health problems. She was quite histrionic, and she seemed to assume that if I wasn’t dramatic about my illness experience that meant I was doing fine. Eventually I decided I just couldn’t continue the friendship.

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    1. I am not kosher with the histrionic type personality. I find them annoying and i can not be around them. Too loud. I get embarrassed for them, ya know.

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  3. Our daughter’s depression and anxiety slowly became worse when she was in high school. It was a huge learning experience to try to find ways to help her cope and deal with these. She went to counselling for several years, but still needs us when things get bad. It’s still hard, and I wish we had more wisdom for her sake.

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  4. Yes, my parents with my depression. They would constantly tell me to “get over it, stop attention seeking, you’re being dramatic” but now I think they do understand a lot more than before. It’s taught me to be more mindful of what my children tell me and to not jump to any conclusions 😊

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  5. When my kids barfed they learned to just find a bucket, bag or whatever themselves because if I saw it I shoved them aside and started up myself. Not proud of that but just the sound caused me to gag. Then I went into Hospice, the others I worked with would gag and that left it all up to me, so I had to get over it and force myself to hold the forehead, get the cool compresses, and do what had to be done. It was hard to face the kids with my newly found courage, but they were supportive and glad I could finally do it for someone else.

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